The Family-Centered Life

Mar 21, 2008

Why we homeschool

It’s Good Friday. I am unfortunately sick with some stomach thing so I am spending some time on my blog trying to forget about my aching stomach.

I read a blog pos t today from Holly, a former high school teacher turned unschooling mom. It’s long but if you have the time, read it - it’s worth it. You might find it shocking and some may think it’s over the top. I don’t, I think she’s right on. For what it’s worth, I am not anti-schools but I do think we need to look at this issue clearly and admit there are some serious problems with our current system. Truly there is something very wrong when as she writes: “The very structure of our society depends on maintaining a social hierarchy drawn very much along racial and socioeconomic lines. School is one of the first places in which we draw those lines.”

Both Tim and I went through the public school system and frankly I feel like I learned very little and in some very real ways I feel like the system was not good for me. I don’t blame my parents. School was what you did and you trusted it was going to educate your children. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn’t and I’m not going to totally blame the schools either because it’s become a pretty complicated system and I think a lot of the people in that system see the difficulties but don’t know how to fix them. There are some really good teachers out there - I’ve had a few. But a good year with a good teacher doesn’t carry you through the next however many years with not so good teachers –and I had many more of the not so good than the good.

My oldest three children went to school before we homeschooled. They were in 1st, 4th and 5th grades when we decided it wasn’t working. They too had a few good teachers. I can think of exactly two and both were religious sisters. Sister Julia Ann and Sister Linda. Both were truly great teachers who knew how to reach a child’s heart and let them to learn. They were teachers who never tolerated unkindness among students and who respected the dignity of each and every child. They were rare gems and I thank God they were there when my children needed them.

That being said I haven’t always been the best teacher either. I can be impatient and lazy, demanding and domineering. But I’m working on those things and I trust that since God gave these children me for their mother He must have a plan there for their best interest and certainly mine since so often it is they who are teaching me things. My oldest son Timothy (22) likes to say that he was my guinea pig and I guess that’s true. I was really young when I became a mom (barely 18) and pretty much clueless about a lot of things. But grace abounds and I am ever so thankful for that.

Other than “family-centered” I don’t really have a word to describe how we home educate our children. We mix it up and use various elements from various philosophies and methods. We use a variety of classical ideas, Charlotte Mason methods, and unschooling principles but . . . none of those really capture the essence of it. I guess it’s best to say we are eclectic and once again go back to family-centered. I honestly think that every family has to find what works for them. The questions I ask are “What will inspire their creativity?”, “What will spark their curiosity?” and “What will drive them to ask questions and find answers?”. I think those things are vitally important and I just don’t think the current school system can help my children reach these things. Learning doesn’t happen in a vacuum it happens in the real world, in real time, interacting with real things and real people. It doesn’t happen because we think it should, or when we think it should or even necessarily the way we think it should. For those of us who have been educated in the system it can be hard to let go of our ideas of education but we may have to if we are really going to let our children learn. I know there are a lot of parents who have children in school that stay involved and work hard to make up for the lack. My hat is off to them because I was a parent with kids in school and I know how hard that can be, especially because a lot of the time you end up feeling like you are fighting against a system that doesn’t recognize your primacy as parent of that child.

None of this is easy. Being a parent is not easy and homeschooling isn’t easy and I don’t think sending your kids to school is easy either but since easy isn’t the measure that really doesn’t matter. There is no Easy Button in real life. Look at a crucifix and there you will see your model. Servanthood, laying down our lives that’s what we are called to, and it’s totally different from what the world says. Jesus is our example. He was Lord but came to serve not to be served. If I can remember this in my role with my children things go much better. I am here to facilitate their learning, serve them in their needs etc. I don’t have all the answers, I am seeker like so many others but I am trying to constantly be open to helping my children discover who they are and become the person God created them to be.

A blessed and holy Good Friday to you and yours.